Red vs Blue: Desert Suprises
by Our Guild
Summary: While exploring the camp, Meta found somthing more interesting than Epsilon. Takes place in Season 8.


**Authors note: Utah here. I wrote this off of a poll on my RoosterTeeth account for unusual pairings. Sorry if characters are OOC but I hope you enjoy this. As usual, no one owns anything canon.**

**Note: _"This is Meta talk."_**

Meta growled. He was the best. He had almost every enhancement for his EVA mjolnir armor and no way to use them. Invisibility, over shields, radar jammer, and even time control. Completely useless. As if he already wasn't in a bad mood, the spartan next to him in steal and yellow armor, Agent Washington, was acting like Meta was a dog.

"Meta. Go and check the camp. See if you can find some clues to where epsilon went."

Epsilon was an A.I. that Meta required to use is enhancements. Grudgingly, he walked into the unexplored camp. As he turned the corner he froze. There was the epsilon unit. Just lying there. Meta didn't think it was a mirage so he walked toward the purple cone.

"Hi there!"

Came a girls energetic voice from the shadows. Meta whirled around, pointing his brute shot towards the girls direction. She wore plain yellow mjolnir armor with a pistol at her side and her helmet off. Her face was surprisingly beautiful. Her tanned skin and silky black hair made her look Hawaiian. Her size aged her around late teenager.

"My name is Kackina but everyone calls me sister. Whats your name?"

She didn't seem scared of him one bit whereas most professional soldiers and recovery agents would wet their pants at the sight of him. Curiously he replied in his growling hiss of a language.

_"They call me Meta."_

It was a surprise to him when Sister replied.

"You have an interesting name Meta. I'm looking for my brother. Can you help me?"

He thought only Wash could understand his growling. She definitely was a different girl. Meta was feeling relaxed around her so he put his brute shot against the wall.

_"Sure. What does he look like?"_

"He's about the hight of that crack there."

She points at a wall filled with cracks so Meta asked curiously.

_"Which one?"_

"That one."

Sister took a step forward, pointing and slipped on epsilon. She fell forward as Meta tried to catch her. He slipped on a rock with a surprised his and fell backward as sister landed on his chest. She giggled, lightly blushing. Then, as if summoned to ruin Meta's happiness, Wash shouted from the entrance.

"What is it Meta? What did you find?"

Why did Wash always annoy him? He enjoyed talking to this girl and wanted to continue and Wash wasn't going to screw this up for him. So, hew primed a grenade and threw it at Wash and hissed at him.

_"Go away."_

He turned back to sister and her next words took him by surprise.

"You know, your kinda hot. I like big strong guys like you."

She started to take off his helmet. Meta didn't object as she kissed him with her soft, tender lips. The worlds worries melted away. There was no bossy Wash. No annoying purple pacifist of a medic that was Doc. No reds or blues that tried to kill him. No project freelancer. Hell. There wasn't even epsilon. They slowly broke apart, her brown eyes gazing into his. He helped her up but sadly the problem of Wash came back.

"Meta. Whatever you found in there, we can handle it. Just come out here. Please."

Meta growled, picked up epsilon, and chucked it at Wash and Doc. He heard shouts of surprise and smiled. He turned back to Sister, ready to start round two. For the first time in a long time, he felt happy.

_"Well it's now or never."_

Mata said after Sister had decided it was time for them to go outside. She smiles and takes his hand.

"Okay. Let's go."

They put their helmets on and walk outside. Doc notices them first and seemed surprised.

"Sister? Is that you?"

"Hey Doc. Wsup?"

"What are you doing here? Are you a prisoner too?"

"No. This is my new boyfriend."

She rested her head on Meta's bulky shoulder. All Doc could do was gawk which started to piss Meta off. Then Wash walked over, talking to Doc.

"Hey Doc. I need help stabilizing the Epsilon unit so I can convert it to a capture unit. Go to the camp and get a power source for me."

Then he notices Meta and the familiar figure in yellow armor next to him.

"You!" He looks at Meta."What is she doing here?"

Meta growls at him.

_"She has a name and she is my new girlfriend."_

"She's your new what?"

Sister glares at him through her helmet.

"Not everyone is as rude as you, cop."

Wash grips his rifle tighter, growling through clenched teeth.

"I'm not a cop."

Meta lets out a warning growl and reaches for his brute shot.  
>Sister grabbed Meta's hand and started walking towards the temple, leaving an angry Wash and a stunned Doc.<p>

"C'mon. Lets go explore the temple. Maybe you'll find a tunnel."

Meta smiled through his helmet.

_"Bow chicka bow wow."_


End file.
